Book Review: Meth Monster, The Story of a Resurrected Life by Timothy Blaine

 "The first chance I got, I bought my very first bag of crystal methamphetamine... A monster was born. Try as I might, there is simply no way for me to minimize the impact with which crystal meth slammed into my life, at least not without straying far from the truth. It was like throwing a forty-pound sledge hammer though a plate glass window. What a cunning thing this was that lived inside of me. How could I ever hope to win against it? My good intentions meant nothing what I lacked was power."

Meth Monster has got to be one of the most amazing books I've read in a very long time. Have you ever read a book that no matter the editing mistakes, book cover, long intro, etc you find yourself wishing it never ends?  Well, that's what I experienced while reading Meth Monster.  

I came across Mr. Blaine while over indulging in YouTube gossip.  Not that he's a gossip blogger but his videos were recommended while I watched some of the blog gossipers.  After opening up one of his recommended videos, I realized I liked his commentary.  On that day Timothy Blaine mentioned his drug history and that he had written a book about his experience growing up, then moving to Hollywood, then his love affair with Meth.  I vowed I'd one day read it.  

Two days ago I opened it up...

Well, no need to reinvent the wheel, here is Amazon's synopsis:  

"Meth Monster is the autobiographical story of one gay African American man's personal journey to faith and deliverance from drugs and alcohol, and particularly from the scourge of crystal methamphetamine. The author takes his readers through his troubled early years in Indiana, hustling on the streets of Hollywood, and dealing drugs in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Blaine boldly examines his personal demons from the time they take up residence in his subconscious and through their horrific and destructive manifestations. After numerous visits to jails, prisons and rehab, and after finally confronting his addiction, his sexuality, AIDS and a broken spirit, at last he finds redemption, healing and forgiveness through the grace and mercy of The Living God."

Until I met Mr. Blaine, I never knew of any African American who had experienced Meth (whether that meant using it or knowing someone who used).  In fact, I thought Meth was something new and only consumed by "others" who were not African American.  Boy was I green!  Not only is Meth not new but there were/are African Americans struggling with the drug.

If you'd like to get major facts (to include rawness) about his struggle with sexuality, domestic violence, the prison pipeline, addiction, and accepting Christ choose this book as your next read.  I promise, just like me, you will not want to put it down.

Drum Roll please - 

I give Meth Monster 

Book Club Reading and Review - Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter by Curtis Jackson (50 ...

Jalila Sowers: From Broken To Breakthrough

What a great replay of amazing events all graciously scripted for us by Jalila Sowers.  It's also oh so amazing how one can write great stories without all the glitz and glimmer.  You see, there was no need for a whole lot of dressing in my opinion.  This remarkable story stands alone.

Drum Roll...…...………………..

God why me? Sitting in a puddle of my own tears balled up in a fetal position. I'm feeling like these four walls are caving in on me. It's pitch black. I can't see or think. My heart is racing. I've finally lost it. My screams are getting louder and louder. How did I get to this point in my life? How did I become exactly what I set out not to be? A statistic! I was just another stereotypical young black single mother, from the hood living in poverty. Pinching pennies scratching and crawling trying to take care of my four children alone. I'm feeling like thirty years on this earth has come crashing down on me like a ton of bricks Heartbreak after heartbreak, tears upon tears, failure after failure. Living the life where poverty and violence is the normal. And success is just a dream. How can I try to instill the quality of life into my children when all I have been exposed to is this? I'm constantly torturing myself and haunted by the creativity that flows through me. Oh how I wish there was a rewind button. I need to escape. This darkness is eating my soul. 

Another thing that grabs my  attention is how well the author told her story  without adding unnecessary fluff.  I think you know what I mean.  Many of us have picked up material all packaged in gold, only to find out it should have been wrapped in foil. OR we've embarked on journeys (through story telling) that seem to never end without ever getting to the actual point of the journey .  

Not here my dear readers.  You will not find any of that here.

Do not take for granted that it's a quick read either.  In my opinion From Broken To Breakthrough is short and to the point.  You'll find yourself engulfed in the pages and wishing you were there with Ms. Sowers as a friend, encouraging her to continue her journey in spite of her challenges.  You'll let her know there is definitely a silver lining in the middle of the storm(s).

Again I give 

Rainie Howard: You Are Enough

"Examines the connection between inner emotional struggle and negative relationships.  You Are Enough takes readers on an incredible journey of self-understanding to explore the root causes of negative emotions that are projecting themselves into their outside relationships."
                                             
                   (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/you-are-enough-rainie-howard)


I was so excited to finally receive my bundle of books in the mail today!

Being an author myself, I love exploring new writers or writers that are new to me.  I can't even remember how I stumbled upon Mrs. Rainie Howard but I am so glad I did.  

Out of the three books I received, I started reading two while also reading a couple other books by other authors, only to realize I devoured You Are Enough in one sitting.  

Side bar:  Addicted to Pain, is probably the next one I'll complete.

'Cause yes ma'am and yes sir, You Are Enough is that good!

You Are Enough is so good, five stars good.  I will be referencing it in my other blog (Today's Lady Chaplain) and possibly in my upcoming book, The Reflection of Neediness.  You have to understand, there is no way to pretend I didn't read this phenomenal book when every part of what I'll say or do from now is due to how much I have processessed, relearned, and committed to while reading it.  

Usually I speed read because I read many many things at once.  However this time was different...very different. I found myself reading slowly. I read slow and steady in order to "taste" every word written.  I couldn't get enough. Therefore, I went back a couple of times to the previous chapters. "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."  My soul just opened up.

To everyone reading my review, I have to let you know, prior to kowing anything about Rainie Howard or her books, I prayed for every page of this book and probably the others too.  I asked God to speak to me NOW.  You know how it is when you just need a "word" from Heaven?  

Well, the words came.  It was as if Rainie Howard was speaking directly to me (directed by God of course).  Her details about her childhood were also for me.  The details were mine.  If I didn't know how the Universe operates, I would think "what a fantastic coincidence."  As with many spiritualists, I know there is no such thing as coincidence.  Everything is spiritually orchestrated down to the tiniest of details.  Hence, this book now in my house, sitting on my bed covered with notes in my handwriting.  No coincidence.

Spoiler alert!  

I don't often do this but in order to thoroughly give gratitude to the author and to paint a picture of how wonderful this read is, I must share a few passages as well as my responses to them:

viii -

Author - I can't remember ever feeling like I was good enough.

ME - No one ever told me I wasn't good enough, they didn't have to.  Their selfishness told me many times.  I felt I wasn't important enough to replace the objects of their attention and/or constant affections.  I never came first.

ix - 

Author - Those thoughts would influence me to work even harder to be "good" or even perfect and to make others happy.

ME- I told myself, "You have to be better.  You have to do everything right."

xi - 

You may feel like you're not strong enough, pretty enough, or smart enough, but you will learn that in our weaknesses, God is made strong.  God has given you everything you need to fulfill your destiny.  Never doubt what God is doing in you.  You must understand that you are enough.  

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing."  - Psalm 23:1


What a masterpiece!  

To also include Psalm 23 is another one of those things spiritually orchestrated for me.  I teach on Psalm 23 often.  The chapter is near and dear to me.  I truly believe You Are Enough will be that for you.  It is a must read.

No matter where you are in your relationship with yourself, with others, a significant other, or with life there is something said in this book that will definitely give you one (if not several) of those "ah ha" moments and yes Mrs. Howard, this book is going to transform lives.  

Readers will (I know I will) definitely create new habits that will give peace and joy.  Inevitably, readers will become doers and build the strengtrh to completely let go of toxic relationships and the confidence and self-esteem to grow in healthy relationships.